Never Ever Suffer From Biting Your Tongue Ever Again: Outspokenness Awaits

Never Ever Suffer From Biting Your Tongue Ever Again: Outspokenness Awaits:

We’ve all done it. We’ve allowed some to voice their opinion and we’ve walked away from the conversation without having spoken our mind. We regret it every time. In this article, we are going to teach you how to never ever suffer from biting your tongue ever again: Outspokenness Awaits!

Biting Your Tongue and Remaining Silent

The bigger “man” (or woman) can walk away. We grow up being taught this from a very early age. We are taught to suppress our thoughts, viewpoints, and feelings from birth. We have to “pick our battles,” they tell us.

On one hand, this is not a bad lesson to understand. The saying goes, “Arguing with fools will just prove there are two of them.” However, we shouldn’t be learning that our voice should be suppressed. It’s a fine line for sure! Using our judgment and deciding which battles should be fought and which ones should be passed on is a balancing act.

Being Forthright

The best thing that occurs when you are outspoken, is people that agree with you find out: who you are and what you stand for.” They are much more likely to bond with you in a manner that is tighter than you’ve ever experienced. People like people that think like them (or believe the same things they do). How will anyone know what you think or believe if you don’t speak up?

You also run the risk of rejection. Keep in mind that you will lose some, and you will gain some when you speak your mind. When you are rejected by those that disagree, it’s actually pretty incredible (what did I just say?)

It’s incredible because you find out who other people are when you are outspoken. Do you really want to be “friends” or hanging out with someone that would call you a name (a bad one) because you don’t feel the same way about something than they do? Hell no.

You might know a few people in your circle, or tribe, that has an ego too big to let your voice be heard. These people are called “bullies” and can be expected to belittle your voice and even have the herd turn against you (because they are all chicken shit and can’t stand up to the bully). You might fear being kicked out of the circle for speaking your mind, so you don’t.

If you are in a group of “friends” that don’t respect each other’s differences, you are in the wrong group. We talked about this more in-depth in the article published titled “Philosophy of An Authentic Person.”
If you can’t be you, you are not in the right circle.

Let’s Get Down To Business

We are going to be going over some of the ways you can go about “coming out of your shell” and allowing yourself to express yourself freely. Is it scary? It can be, but it would be a lot scarier to think that you are 100 years old on your death bed and nobody even know who you are or what you stood for.
If you have any fear as we go on the outspoken journey, know that:

  • You are valuable
  • You have wisdom
  • You have a voice
  • You matter
  • You have thoughts and feelings just like everyone else
  • You have the right to be you
  • You have the right to express yourself
  • The pain of not voicing your pain hurts worse than what people might say (or do).

9 Ways To Never Ever Suffer From Biting Your Tongue Ever Again: Outspokenness Awaits

Get comfortable with rubbing people the wrong way:

Don’t “try to rub people the wrong way (you don’t want the name “bitch” to mean anything and being a bitch is not your intention, being accepted for your truth is), but start throwing your 2 cents in every opportunity you get (yes, this is a challenge).

If someone tries to “get louder than you (which is what bullies do) and outshout you into submission,” then sever ties with them immediately. You can forgive them when you are ready, but you do not need to be in the company of anyone who hinders your voice.

Eventually, you will have weeded out the people that don’t have respect for your voice, and rubbing people the wrong way will be a thing of the past, at least in your inner circle. This will enable you to build up the confidence that your voice is valued and respected (everyone doesn’t have to agree with you, but they do need to be respectful of your differences – as you do theirs)

Pretty soon, rubbing people the wrong way on occasion will be ok with you, and it should be. Everyone on the planet isn’t going to like you. If you keep your mouth shut, there will be people that hate you for being “too quiet and never taking a stance.” You might as well have a few people not like you and “be you.”

If You Don’t Like Something Say So

If the entire room is saying, “this food is amazing,” and you think it tastes like dog shit (I don’t recommend actually using this term at the table) then say so. You are as unique as your fingerprints (and tongue prints too, did you know that?). You are not like everyone else. You never have been and you never will be. It’s time to be ok with that!

Stop Worrying About Upsetting Others

This is a redundant point that I just made a minute ago. If you keep your mouth shut in life, some people are not going to like you for it. You might as well have some people not like you for speaking what’s in your heart.

Start Thinking Of Yourself As Equal To All

Why should someone have the right to speak their mind and express their beliefs and opinions and you shouldn’t? You have just as much right to be heard like everyone else. Stop thinking of yourself as “lesser.” You are not lesser, you are equal. Believe that. Think like that and speak up!
Stand Up For Yourself

“But, this isn’t your personality,” I can hear a few saying this to themselves. This isn’t true. It isn’t your “personality” to get pushed around and run over your entire life. You don’t have to be aggressive and loud when you stand up for yourself, but you do need to be firm.

Many times, we go into submission mode when we “feel” that others are above us. Hence the reason I put “start thing of yourself as equal to all” first. NOBODY IS ABOVE YOU. If you are in a situation where you are expected to be a sheep (like at work for example) “bah bah bad news” for them. They are going to have to talk behind your back in the breakroom because you are not going to tolerate your voice being silenced.

You can speak your mind respectfully, but you will speak your mind.

The Benefits of Being Outspoken

  • You will find that the relationships you are in are much stronger (friendships or otherwise) because people will have respect for you
  • People will know who you are and agree or disagree with you (you will find out who your real friends are)
  • You will never have that pain of regret for not speaking up ever again (liberating)
  • You will become more and more comfortable with who you are and step into an authentic life
  • You will be you (what could possibly be greater than that

Squashing Your Voice Is Selfish

You are here for a reason. You are on planet earth for a reason. Keeping silent about your thoughts and feelings not only hurts you, but it also hurts the people around you. Your voice, your opinion needs to be heard. You are obligated to “be you” and to “share you” with the world.

If your voice wasn’t meant to be heard, you wouldn’t be here – keep that in mind!

If there is anything that we could be doing better, please let us know: Contact Us

Philip Isaac

"I hope there are days that excite you like when you were a little kid. I hope the oceans on our planet enable you to feel the magnitude of what our Universe has in store for you. I hope you laugh and cry tears of gratitude every single day." - Philip Isaac

This Post Has 7 Comments

  1. Lindsay N.

    I have put myself into some very uncomfortable situations because I chose to hold my tongue instead of speaking up for myself. Never again! I’ve learned my lesson and know no good comes from keeping silent.

  2. Tamra Gibson

    Wow!! This sure hits home. I’ve always encouraged others to have their own opinion but, seems most people have a problem with that.
    I fully understand we are all different and I embrace it.
    I’ve learned it’s usually my extended Family that get angry if ai don’t see things their way and I used to ” bite my tongue”. It took years for me to understand it’s ok to be different and as long as I’m doing it with respect it’s out of my hands to control how they take my opinion. I respect others opinions and can only hope others will respect mine even if we dont agree.

  3. Emma K

    Your voice is the most precious gift you have in life (after your own life). Not letting the world hear your voice is a true disaster (and when I mean voice I don’t just mean speaking, but expressing your personality).

  4. Tiffany

    Once again, Isaac is challenging us to own our thoughts- and our VOICES. This is why I love his blogs. From one article to the next, the overriding message is authenticity, trueness to oneself in a way that’s assertive rather than aggressive. The idea that “not everyone is going to like you” is so true, and I love the idea that it may as well be because of my views and values, rather than because “I’m too quiet.”

    As a mental health professional, I’ve worked with a lot of people who are victimized- so to speak- by their passivity, because somewhere along the line, they were taught that that is who they are. But it doesn’t have to be. I once heard, “there are victims and there are volunteers.” If we’ve been shoved into a role that we feel is stifling and inauthentic to our true selves, we- as adults- get to say, “that shirt doesn’t fit anymore,” and find a new one. Not everyone will like our “new shirt” when we do that. Oh well! This article does a great job of delineating authenticity versus aggression, and I appreciate that.

  5. Philip Isaac

    100%. You hit the nail on the head! Thanks for your comment Tamra!

  6. Peter

    While I totally agree that you should be outspoken, especially when you have something to say (and back it up with proof or experience) there are also times when you need to be quiet and just listen. I think a balance between both is best. How do you know when to choose one over the other? Your gut feeling should be enough most of the time and in time you’ll become more experienced and know when to be quiet and when to speak your mind. For example you should always stand up for yourself by showing others your qualities.

  7. Sara White

    I have a huge problem with this. I have had bad reactions every time I spoke up or spoke out that ended with me feeling horrible so I learned this behavior and have been doing it most of my life. I want to get out of it because in some cases, I need to speak up and just say it like it is. I remember being a child and doing this but as I got a little older, I got more quiet. Sometimes someone will say something that offends me and instead of pointing it out, I just stay silent, even when they are attacking me and I know that isn’t healthy. I want to be able to speak up without being harsh or going off like a ticking time bomb like many others do.

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