Mentors and how they find you
Mentors find us, we don’t find them. We all know that we “need a mentor” to help us. Needing a mentor is pitched to us at every turn. Is it true?
Do we really need someone to help us make decisions and point out our strengths and weaknesses? Do we really need someone to “make connections” with valuable resources and help us along our way?
The answer: It can’t hurt.
In the old days, the amount of information we could have possibly gathered was limited (no internet). In today’s day and age, we have a ton of information at our fingertips. This changes things. This doesn’t negate the advantage to having someone who has “been where you are trying to go” being in your corner…. But, it does change things.
Mentors, why do we need one?
So, we can learn? Guess what – you don’t need to be in someone’s living room or having a cup of coffee with them to learn from them these days! We know, it’s amazing!!!
Do not “sit around all day stressing about not having a mentor” because that will certainly not get you where you intend to go. Learn everything you can from the people you admire online (podcasts, websites, courses, books, audio presentations and YouTube)
You can learn from people you never met before…online!
You should be doing this. You shouldn’t be waiting for a mentor to “drop into your lap,” you should be learning all you can without them…. you may never find someone who is willing to help you. Keep that in mind.
Don’t wait on others to make your dreams come true.
OK, you are reading this article because you want to know how to find a mentor and we just told you to go out into the world and not concern yourself with finding one – how is that going to help you find a mentor?
You will never find a mentor. People do not “find” mentors…. Mentors “find people”. You can read that again if it didn’t sink in. Asking people who you admire to mentor you is a waste of your time, and theirs.
Ask yourself this question, “Why would someone mentor me?”
If your answer is, “I haven’t learned anything because I have been spending all my time looking for someone to teach me” ……why would they?
Would you ever (be honest) go out of your way and spend the most precious commodity in the universe (your time) helping someone who hasn’t helped themselves?
The answer is, “No!”
If you are learning everything you can learn and not waiting on someone to teach you – you are on your journey to success. Do not think for a second that you will not be successful if someone doesn’t “help you.”
We hear over and over how we “need a mentor.” If you have learned everything you could possibly have learned on your own (educated yourself) you will be more value to someone who is interested in helping you. You might even help them (this is the key)
Mentor-ship is a give and take relationship, just like any other relationship. If you have nothing to give, good luck getting someone to “tell you all they know.’
A mentor, if one is meant to be in your life, will find you. They will be intrigued with the “fire” you have in you. The “drive.” They will see the benefit of having you around….and the relationship will be born. Don’t screw this up by asking them if they will marry you (we mean mentor you) on the first date.
Many successful people have numerous mentors in their lives, why is it so hard to find one?
It isn’t – stop looking.
If a mentor comes into your life, it won’t be because you asked them to – it will be because they want to be there for one reason or another. To ensure that you have what it takes to be mentored, learn all you can and do all you can do on your own.
You will eventually cross paths with someone who helps you – the universe will see to that. However, you must prove that you are worthy to receive such an opportunity.
When a mentor comes into your life, here are some things you should do to be of value to them (always remember that a mentor doesn’t need you – you need them):
- Give more than you take
- Do research and share valuable information with them
- Ask them what you can do for them (stop thinking about yourself)
- Know that a mentor doesn’t have to “be friends” with you – they come in all different forms
- Don’t ask for the solution, but to learn how to solve the problem
- Try doing things “their way.” They are trying to teach you…. learn.
- Be open to new perspectives
You will be successful without a mentor – this is the attitude you should have.
When you get where you are going (and you will) don’t forget that being the mentor that you had (or didn’t have) to someone else is a great way to be grateful for your success.
When the day comes, will you mentor someone who “asks you to mentor them”, or will you mentor someone who “proved that they deserve to be mentored?”